Girl, Stop Dating Losers
Girl, stop dating losers.
You know better. You know you deserve better.
It’s easier said than done. And I can write until my hands fall off about how you should believe something or do something different than what you are doing, and you can agree with it until your eyes fall out of your head, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to become a part of you. It needs to become something internal to you, not something you read, or chant, or pretend that you already have, or something you wish for.
The truth is, when you are looking at (past/present/future Mx. Loser) you already know it yourself. You know they are a loser. You know you should want better for yourself. So why do you keep sabotaging yourself? Do you feel like you deserve better? If not, how do you change into somebody who knows they deserve better and acts in alignment with that belief?
Are you trying to help them? Do you feel your life would work better if they could just quit drinking or watching porn or smoking so much weed? What if they could just spend more time with you instead of always hanging out with their friends or that person from work they’re “just friends” with? What if they tried to get a better job or any job? What if they wanted better for themself? Are you so kind to be caring about their abusive ass? Girl, why are you so focused on them? They are a loser. How do I know? You’re reading this, aren’t you?
Maybe you love them. You love them and you know they can be better. You know they just need support and that’s what relationships are about. That’s what love is about. You need to be there for them and support them until they get out of this funk or whatever their issue is because you’re that kind of selfless, giving, nurturing person. Maybe if you quit your job and stop talking to every single person in your life other than them, maybe if you put all your free time and all your creativity and all your generous spirit and all your loving life force into this person then they will realize their potential. Maybe then they will be able to be there for you and start meeting some of your needs. Wrong. Once you have given them their life back, you’ll be a hollow shell of a person and they will leave you because you have nothing left to offer. But that’s the future we’re talking about. In the present, how are they going to meet your needs if they are:
*in jail
*always putting you down
*with their other girl/lady/man/wife/etc
*always at work
*never at work
*on drugs
*always watching porn
*incapable of empathy
*a liar
*takes you for granted
*is abusing you
*is neglecting you
*_________________add your own examples!
Stop Being So Nice
Why are you so nice? Is it because you want something? Is it because you are expecting something in return? Is it because you’re afraid they will leave you if you don’t let them keep taking advantage of you? Is it because you were abused in your childhood? If so, join the club. Some of us fawn because we’re afraid to stand up for ourselves. Some of us are just acting nice because we really want to get something from the other person. Guess what, both suck. Stop being so nice. How is being nice going to get you what you want, really? Do you think nice people want somebody nice? Do you want somebody actually nice? Or do you think nice people are losers too? Maybe nice people don’t turn you on. Or maybe the nice people are just trying to control you. Hard to say. But guess what, if you’re nice, it hasn’t worked for you!
I’m not saying you have to be a bitch or a bad person and I’m not glorifying sociopaths at all. I’m glad you’re a nice person and I want to help you to make the world a better place by having a healthy relationship and radiating happiness into the world through your great example.
Oh, and of course, I’m talking to myself. When will I change for good?